Radical Self-Awareness In The Workplace: An Antidote To Burnout?
After a year of change thanks to the pandemic, many of us have had time to reflect on our lives. In terms of work, 2020 was a record year for forming new companies; it was the year of the passion project and the side hustle. Many of us, however, are just trying to make it through one hell of a strange time whilst trying to keep the impact of coronavirus from negatively affecting our mental health.
The rise of remote working with minimal socialising and, let’s face it, boredom means that it’s easier than ever to be consumed by our work. Research shows that people are working longer hours and finding it difficult to separate their personal and work lives. Quite why is unknown. But burnout is at an all time high. From the myriad of reasons to increase our self-awareness, the most pertinent right now is: knowing when to stop.
What is self-awareness?
Self-awareness means knowing how you are thinking, feeling and behaving – and why. With diverse teams aiming to work harmoniously towards a common goal, this is crucial at work.
We all come to the party with our own unique life stories and perspectives. Tapping into that is where some of the magic happens… from different personalities, the films we’ve seen, the books we’ve read, the people we’ve met.
We all like to believe that we have control over our lives and behaviour. And we do. However, founder of self-development brand The Circle Line and therapist Pip Richardson says,“The unconscious mind plays a part in our life, whether we’re aware of its contents or not. That’s why I believe it pays to regularly pause and look things with a professional, who’s on your side, and trained to see what you might not.”
This is the essence of self-awareness.
Cultivating resilience through boundaries
At its simplest level, self-awareness is directly linked to burnout through us being unaware of our own limits.
Research shows that individuals who underrate their own performance report the highest levels of burnout. A poor sense of self can manifest in overworking and exhaustion.
“without self-awareness we can misperceive our resources and our ability to know when to stop.”
Without self-awareness we can misperceive our resources and our ability to know when to stop. We power on through and don’t ask for help. We say that we’re fine, when we’re not. We go harder and faster and try to achieve 100% output continuously - and feel bad when we don't.
How much is enough? Pip comments, “Work can be a form of escape. Escape from loneliness, from a sense of inadequacy, a sense of futility or hopelessness. Accomplishment may be the way we got recognition and approval as kids. But there’s nothing wrong with doing nothing.”
In a time where it’s easy to unwittingly compare our lives and careers to the veneer of other people’s through social media, we can fall into a trap of thinking that we aren’t good enough.
How Work Cultures Influences Us
Some workplace cultures imply that work, productivity and efficiency are more important than rest, that there’s a toughness to pushing ourselves beyond our natural capacities.
Having worked within cultures and with managers like this myself, I remember feeling pangs of discomfort when managers with families and newborns bragged about working late and throughout the weekend.
“leaders model behaviour and project expectations onto their teams”
Studies show that we're impacted by the examples our leaders set. Consciously or not, leaders model behaviour and project expectations onto their teams, who are typically sensitive to the actions of their 'superiors'. So when leaders foster environments that advocate for rest, trust and support, it can have a positive impact - and vice versa.
Ultimately it’s our responsibility to spot and choose which kinds of narratives we might be internalising, to decide who to work with and set our own limits as to how much is enough.
Knowing Ourselves
I started therapy for the first time when I was 24 and learnt some of my biggest life lessons. I soon learnt that I’d been seeking validation from my work and accomplishments. My experience of work became so stressful that I was signed off, consumed with negative thinking and anxiety.
What was actually going on was that I was living out my childhood “script”. One element of this was my goal to buy a house before I was 30. As a child, I picked up and internalised this simplified belief that if I didn’t have the house, husband and babies by 30, I had failed.
Maybe I internalised this from my parents, from culture, from the episode of Friends I absorbed where Rachel breaks up with Tag because she wants children by 30.
But through therapy, I changed my goalposts. I realised my “life plan” wasn’t a fact of life. As an adult in 2021, I realised how unrealistic it is for millennials on a moderate income to get on the housing ladder. I didn’t have to sacrifice my mental health by staying in a work environment that wasn’t right for me in order to “achieve” this.
Through knowing and accepting how I really felt, I began to follow my own true purpose in life. This led me to joining The Circle Line, where I’m learning what it’s like when my mental health thrives and I feel calmer, more confident and more comfortable in being vulnerable.
Expressing Ourselves
Once we know our limits we also need to feel able to communicate them - and trust that we can safely do so in the workplace.
When we work in a psychologically safe environment that allows us to ask for help, voice our concerns, make mistakes - without getting demoted or fired - we start to reach towards our potential.
If we’re not so lucky we need to identify for how long, and in what capacity, we can manage working in an environment that doesn’t foster expression, respect and support.
This is again where leadership comes in. Where there is hierarchy, psychological safety needs to come from the top. So think carefully: who are you working for?
Writing our own life story
As kids, we all form beliefs about people and the nature of the world, even if we’re not aware of it. We find ways to get the affirmation we need from our family environment. In this way, we start writing our life story from a very young age.
As adults, we still need recognition, especially if we didn’t receive quite enough positive affirmation when we were young. The patterns we developed in childhood play out by seeking validation through ‘performing’ for others - overworking, people-pleasing, and denying our own needs.
The good news is that we write our own life story - then and now. And we can change it.
Workplaces can encourage us to develop this inner knowing, through providing therapy, self-development workshops and habits of honest communication. Those that do, benefit from our full individuality, creativity and motivation - rather than us as workers, automations or “resource”.
Radical? Or just good business sense?
So how does self-awareness impact our work?
We learn to recognise our limits - when our mind and body need to stop
We learn to recognise our talents - seeing we are good enough and what in particular we seem to find easier than others
It improves our relationships with colleagues - we learn to assert ourselves, listen more deeply to others, and connect more honestly and directly
We start freely writing our own life story - and find our reason for being.
And how can we increase our self-awareness?
Reading about psychology and human development
Taking time to reflect on life - our choices, our conflicts, and what we want
Learning what we want and need - support from others, a reassuring phone call? Friday evenings to yourself? Fresh air and a 30 minute walk every day?
Meditation - to calm the mind and connect with the body
Talking to friends for support (bear in mind you rarely get a neutral response!)
Therapy
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